Don't Give a Man that Challenge
by Great Question
Summary: Lal's sick of Colonello's constant attempts, so she gives him a challenge to try to stop him... and it horribly backfires. Rated M for Language and Sexiness.


I don't feel like adding KORA after every sentence, So screw them.

I don't remember the name of the Pre-Baby arcos, So they'll be arcobalenos here.

Disclaimer: Don't Own!

* * *

Colonello was awesome. He could score any girl he wanted... Except his teacher Lal Mirch. She always answered his awesome pick-up lines and gestures with a swift punch in the face, but that didn't discourage him! He was a soldier dammit! He couldn't and wouldn't take no for an answer! He didn't even know the meaning of the word no! That did cause some problems through, but screw it, that's a different story.

"Lal! Lal! Lal!" He screamed running down the hallway, the distance to his target closing fast.

"What Colonello?" She said semi-irritated, preparing for what was next.

"Are you tired?"

"Uh... No, Why?"

"Because you've been running through my mind all night." Seconds after this line was delivered, a fist was planted swiftly into his face.

"Hurry up, Reborn and Verde have been waiting for us." She walked off, pretending that incident had never happened.

Some time later, She entered her office and noticed a gift on her desk.

"A gift?" She looked over at her calendar, "Not my birthday yet... Not a day of celebration either...." She opened the gift and quickly read the card.

"_Roses are red,_

_violets are blue,_

_all of my bases_

_belong to you."_

She opened the rest and pulled out a model base with "My Heart" labeled on it. She turned around to Colonello in a striking pose. It was very striking indeed... as in 6 or 7 strikes to the face.

"Viper's looking for you"

The next few weeks involved similar incidents. The words Lal~ echoed through the based repeatedly, followed by sounds of loud bangs. Eventually....

"I've had enough!" She had snapped, screaming loud enough to be heard across the base. Apparently hitting on her during the regular meeting of the Arcobalenos was far enough. So she threw him to the ground and was now stomping his head into the ground. "I've had it with your idiotic lines, gifts, and Reborn cupid telegrams!"

"Mi mad ma moupon! (I had a coupon!)" He said muffled in the ground.

"You give out coupons?" Viper said to the smirking hitman/cosplay enthusiast.

"If you want to make him stop, just make a deal with him?" The never helping, but will help only at the cost of others, green scientist stated out of nowhere.

"Argh.... Okay fine!" She let him up. "There's no way I would go out with a weak person, so how's this: You break the records on the training courses, then I'll let you take me out to dinner. Fuck! If you're able to break my records, then I'll even sleep with you!" At this point, everyone froze, did a spit take, or dropped something. "How's that for a deal!"

Colonello froze for a second.... walked over to everyone's favorite punching bag, Skull, and punched him hard.

"Argh! WTF was that for!"

"Did that hurt Skull?"

"Ballz yeah it did!"

"Then this isn't a dream! Okay, your on Lal!" He quickly opened the door to the room and slammed it, the words "hell yeah" could be heard running down the hall.

The room was suddenly quiet, Lal sat back down in her seat. "Ooooooooooh, You shouldn't have done that Lal..." Viper quickly spoke up in a teasing voice.

"Why? It'll give be some peace and quiet for a few days..."

"Hardly." The Arcobaleno boss, Luche, said surprisingly, "There is one men like him chase after more then anything, and that's sex, isn't that right boys?"

A simultaneous "Uh-huh" gave Lal a heart-sinking answer.

"And since you waved that beautiful tail of yours in front of him, he'll no doubt break through all of those records in record time." Reborn had no qualm in teasing her.

"...... fuck..."

The next day...

"Miss Lal! Miss Lal!" Unimportant solider #1 ran over to Lal, a bunch of papers in his hands.

"What is it solider?"

"Take a look at these!" He handed her the papers.

As she read through them, her heart suddenly sunk.

_Target practice Records:_

_#1- Reborn_

_#2- Colonello_

_#3- Lal Mirch_

_Physical training records:_

_#1- Colonello_

_#2- Lal Mirch_

_Somba dance performance records:_

_#1- Colonello_

_#2- Reborn_

_#3- Fon_

"...no..." She flipped through the pages, all said the same thing. Even her pride and joy, the obstacle course record, shattered. "Nonono!"

She ran like hell to the surveillance room, nearly threatening the people at gunpoint to pull up the videos of the course records... Her worse fears were realized. "...fuck....." The last video, the obstacle course ended with a smug looking Colonello smiling at the camera. "Fuck!" In the lounge across the base, Lal's extremely loud scream led Viper to hand a large wad of bills to Reborn.

"Told ya." The hitman then stuffed the wad into his pocket.

The next day, Lal was randomly provided with a fancy red cocktail dress, and several notes, either pieces of advice or notes of mocking. All of which were burned in rage. She was dropped off randomly at a fancy restaurant, after Luche and Viper (Yes, I've chosen female viper for this) dressed her up and make her look beautiful-er. As she walked to the front of the door, nearly every man's head was turned, she had never wanted to kill someone so much in her life, but Luche had taken all of her weapons.

"Miss Lal Mirch?" The server asked.

"....Yes."

"Your gentlemen caller awaits..." He brought her over to the table where a fancy dressed Colonello, except his camo headband, awaited.

"Hello lovely."

"Kill me..."

The night progressed horribly to her, several of Colonello's horrible pick-up lines, and she almost killed someone for calling them a cute couple. She was then dragged to a fancy hotel, already paid for and everything by a "Anonymous Source". The walked to the room and Colonello unlocked the door walked in.

She prepared herself and started to walk in mumbling herself. "Okay... it's okay... he couldn't possibly expect me to how are you naked already!" She yelled at the already nude, save his headband, Colonello laying across the bed.

"Oh my lovely, Your beauty makes even the falcon want to shed it's feathers at the speed of light! And now Welcome to the falcon's love nest. "

For once in her live, she actually wanted to faint. She blushed furiously and closed the door.

"Come on my love... Show me what you can do" he said in a suggestive voice.

She blushed even more. Then she turned away and started to undress. As she discarded her shoes, gloves, and scarf, she eventually go to the dress. She hesitated then reach behind her, what she was not expecting was muscular hands reaching around her body.

"Oh my love, your beauty makes even the sun turn away..." he nipped her on the neck, and he hands explored around her torso, massaging her body, eventually pulling her dress down, revealing her soft breasts. She gasped at his cold touch, but that only drew him closer. After playing around with for a bit, nipping her neck and stroking her soft breast, He threw her onto the bed, discarding her dress as if it was a cheap jacket, leaving her in only her fancy panties. _"Nice choice Luche! You Rock!"_

"Nello-chan..." She gasped, meeting his gaze with her own.

"Lal-chan..." There lips drew closer... a moment of hot passion was sure to follow.

"Oh... Nello...."

"Shh... Just stay quiet..."

"Okay, then I'll make this quick."

"Huh?"

A swift and powerful fist smashed into his gut. "Blargha!" Colonello fell to the side, clutching his stomach.

"Sorry, this is as much as you get." A swift chop to the back of his neck knocked him out.

Lal got up off the bed, smiling triumphantly down at the unconscious Colonello. "Sorry Nello-chan, I agreed to sleep with out, but I never said I would have sex with you. That's for when you graduate." She walked into the bathroom, took a quick shower, changed into some pajamas that were stashed in the corner of the room, then plopped down on the bed. She looked one last time at Colonello, examining his form poking him a bit, "Hmm... Not bad." She turned him away, threw a blanket over his body, then grabbed another one and fell asleep facing away from him.

* * *

Ahaha, R&R


End file.
